WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS®GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #9 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
BIRTH OF SWAMP GODDESS
SLEEPLESS NIGHTS
One special sleepless night, about half past my double milestone® clock, I had a transcendent experience, or perhaps it was just another insomnia filled hallucination.
I awoke to my usual condition - my body and bedding were drenched in sweat (oops, I mean glowing with dewy moisture).
It seemed impossible that the blame for this nightly soaking was due to hot flashes and night sweats.
Somehow, it was easier to believe I was perpetually sopping wet because I had been magically transported to a swamp.
SWAMP LIVING
Surprisingly, the image of the swamp took hold. I embraced the notion of swamp living, but with an important stipulation.
If I am to be a swamp dweller (i.e. endure vicious hot flashes and all the other - umm - joys of menopause and midlife), then I declare myself goddess of my swamp (my life).
Thus, Swamp Goddess was born. Yippee!!!
My first decree as goddess: I must make changes to my life.
I TOOK VOWS:
1. To offset menopausal misery and aging angst, to the best of my ability and in the ways I can control, I will no longer allow any other misery or angst into my life. There is no room.
2. I will make a conscious effort to move towards making everything else in my life joyful and pleasurable.
3. I will adopt a 'no regrets' policy. (This was an afterthought but as I quickly realized, essential to the Swamp Goddess lifestyle.
CHOICES
Quite simply, by making the choice to become goddess of my swamp, I took ownership of my life.
Why didn't I think of this 50 years ago??? Imagine!
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
For those of you with no hot flashes and night sweats, consider yourself lucky to have landed on a dry patch of the swamp.
However, I am sure you have other signs of menopausal mayhem and aging angst.
And so, of course you are welcome to be a Swamp Goddess.
UNHOMEWORK
What misery and/or angst would you like to eliminate from your life?
Write a list of what brings you joy/pleasure.
Is any, or all, of your pleasure food related, e.g. chocolate (my true love)?
Other than food, is joy/pleasure a regular part of your life?
How often and in what ways?
HELPFUL HINTS
We need to distinguish between joyful, healthy pleasure and sad, unhealthy indulgence.
Obviously, a detailed discussion is beyond the scope of this blog.
Simply stated:
- Swamp Goddesses strive for healthy pleasure based in joy, wisdom and positive outcomes.
- Indulgence stems from a misguided attempt to fill an emotional void by spending money on luxuries we can't afford, eating excessively until we are sick, etc. etc etc.
- Engaging in excessive and extravagant behaviors without thinking through the consequences is not using Swamp Goddess wisdom.
- Getting help* from a well-qualified counselor to bring joyful, healthy pleasure into your life, as well as healing the 'emptiness', is a wonderful double milestone® gift to yourself.
Go for it!
*COUNSELING
Is not:
- a magical cure that makes all our problems vanish
- an indication or admission we have serious mental health disorders
It is:
- an acknowledgement that, at certain times and for specific issues, an objective, trained professional can be a valuable, effective guide.
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
WHAT IS A SWAMP GODDESS?
The Swamp Goddess persona is a strategy designed to...
MORE HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife memos is a weekly blog.
If you click 'followers' or 'subscribe' you will automatically
receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTES
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
BEFORE EMERGING AS SWAMP GODDESS
WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #8 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
BEFORE EMERGING AS SWAMP GODDESS
Do you have nicknames for your double milestone® persona?
Before emerging as Swamp Goddess, I comically referred to my budding menopausal/midlife self as
'a delicate flower'.
It was my signal to others: either treat me gently or step lightly around me.
I was often heard stating: "I am in no mood for...whatever."
What are you often heard stating?
Identity Change
As menopause intensified, aging progressed and humor subsided, it seemed appropriate to select a new, bolder identity.
I could have continued with the flower theme and called myself 'hot house flower' or 'red hot rose', but those monikers didn't fully capture my hot flash-induced, drenched state of being.
Anyway
I was so over the whole flower child thing (at last!).
I wanted to more accurately denote this stage of life, mostly because I was not only continuously hot (sizzling), I also was perpetually sweat soaked (embarrassingly).
Plus, some serious real life changes were happening.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
It is difficult to find humor in our discomfort, yet we all know it does help to laugh.
Suggestions for coping with hot flashes, night sweats and other signs of menopausal mayhem and aging angst will be covered in future postings.
UNHOMEWORK
What are your double milestone nicknames?
(I hope you will choose Swamp Goddess).
OK, I know you have a list. Who and what made your 'not in the mood' list?
Is the list growing, shrinking?
What criteria do you use to add someone or something to your list?
Is it possible for someone or something to get a reprieve (taken off the list)? How?
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
BIRTH OF SWAMP GODDESS
One special sleepless night, about half past my double milestone clock...
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife memos is a weekly blog.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe' you will automatically receive
each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTES
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: www.drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook/drwendykyman.com
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #8 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
BEFORE EMERGING AS SWAMP GODDESS
Do you have nicknames for your double milestone® persona?
Before emerging as Swamp Goddess, I comically referred to my budding menopausal/midlife self as
'a delicate flower'.
It was my signal to others: either treat me gently or step lightly around me.
I was often heard stating: "I am in no mood for...whatever."
What are you often heard stating?
Identity Change
As menopause intensified, aging progressed and humor subsided, it seemed appropriate to select a new, bolder identity.
I could have continued with the flower theme and called myself 'hot house flower' or 'red hot rose', but those monikers didn't fully capture my hot flash-induced, drenched state of being.
Anyway
I was so over the whole flower child thing (at last!).
I wanted to more accurately denote this stage of life, mostly because I was not only continuously hot (sizzling), I also was perpetually sweat soaked (embarrassingly).
Plus, some serious real life changes were happening.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
It is difficult to find humor in our discomfort, yet we all know it does help to laugh.
Suggestions for coping with hot flashes, night sweats and other signs of menopausal mayhem and aging angst will be covered in future postings.
UNHOMEWORK
What are your double milestone nicknames?
(I hope you will choose Swamp Goddess).
OK, I know you have a list. Who and what made your 'not in the mood' list?
Is the list growing, shrinking?
What criteria do you use to add someone or something to your list?
Is it possible for someone or something to get a reprieve (taken off the list)? How?
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
BIRTH OF SWAMP GODDESS
One special sleepless night, about half past my double milestone clock...
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife memos is a weekly blog.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe' you will automatically receive
each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTES
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: www.drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook/drwendykyman.com
Thursday, March 11, 2010
'OLD' - THE FORBIDDEN WORD
WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #7 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
'OLD' - THE FORBIDDEN WORD
I have friends who get angry when I mention the word 'old'.
If we are out and about, meeting new folks and I say the forbidden word 'old' in reference to myself,
I get accused of being 'negative', 'depressing' and even 'ruining things'. What things?
Warrior Women
Many of us battle aging.
We fight it on various fronts:
- cosmetic surgery
- coloring grey hair
- covering thinning hair with extensions, pieces, and whatever we can find
- dressing like 20 year olds
- dating much younger partners
You get the picture.
Of course, we all have seen men our age strolling along with their toddlers.
What are they thinking? Or are they?
What are we thinking? Or are we?
PC Police
BTW, this avoidance of the word 'old' is not only happening with some of my friends.
I have been informed that the language police consider it politically incorrect to say 'getting old'.
Instead, we are supposed to use 'aging'. Yeah right, surely that makes it all ok. Get over yourself.
It's silly to ban words and stifle speech.
After all, it is what it is.
How Annoying
Along with denial and pc codes, ridiculous platitudes seriously get on my last nerve.
Do you find these as annoying as I do?
Here are a few:
- Age is just a number
- You are as old as you feel
- 60 is the new - what age is being touted now - oh yeah 50, or is it 30?
Please stop !!!
How come
If 60 is the new 40 (or whatever):
- my knees will not easily skip down a flight of stairs. (Ouch they hurt).
- that little black dress is not so little. (Is yours?)
- names, titles of songs, trains of thought, etc get lost in the void of vanishing memory (uuhhh...what was I saying?)
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Myriad factors influence the aging process, including genetics, lifestyle and most profoundly, attitude.
UNHOMEWORK
What platitudes about aging get on your nerves? Why?
Do you use the word 'old' when referring to yourself or your friends?
If not, what descriptive label, if any, do you use?
Do you reveal your true age?
If so, what reaction do you expect, e.g. shock, disbelief, responses such as:
'no way can you be 58' or 'I thought you were 40'?
Do you fib about your age? If so, how many years do you shave off? Why?
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
BEFORE EMERGING AS A SWAMP GODDESS
Before emerging as Swamp Goddess, I comically referred to my budding menopausal/midlife self as.......
HELPFUL HINTS
Factors that influence the aging process will be addressed in future postings.
Midlife Memos is a weekly blog.
If you click 'followers' or subscribe' you will automatically receive
each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTES
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: www.drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
THE SWAMP GODDESS GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #7 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
'OLD' - THE FORBIDDEN WORD
I have friends who get angry when I mention the word 'old'.
If we are out and about, meeting new folks and I say the forbidden word 'old' in reference to myself,
I get accused of being 'negative', 'depressing' and even 'ruining things'. What things?
Warrior Women
Many of us battle aging.
We fight it on various fronts:
- cosmetic surgery
- coloring grey hair
- covering thinning hair with extensions, pieces, and whatever we can find
- dressing like 20 year olds
- dating much younger partners
You get the picture.
Of course, we all have seen men our age strolling along with their toddlers.
What are they thinking? Or are they?
What are we thinking? Or are we?
PC Police
BTW, this avoidance of the word 'old' is not only happening with some of my friends.
I have been informed that the language police consider it politically incorrect to say 'getting old'.
Instead, we are supposed to use 'aging'. Yeah right, surely that makes it all ok. Get over yourself.
It's silly to ban words and stifle speech.
After all, it is what it is.
How Annoying
Along with denial and pc codes, ridiculous platitudes seriously get on my last nerve.
Do you find these as annoying as I do?
Here are a few:
- Age is just a number
- You are as old as you feel
- 60 is the new - what age is being touted now - oh yeah 50, or is it 30?
Please stop !!!
How come
If 60 is the new 40 (or whatever):
- my knees will not easily skip down a flight of stairs. (Ouch they hurt).
- that little black dress is not so little. (Is yours?)
- names, titles of songs, trains of thought, etc get lost in the void of vanishing memory (uuhhh...what was I saying?)
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Myriad factors influence the aging process, including genetics, lifestyle and most profoundly, attitude.
UNHOMEWORK
What platitudes about aging get on your nerves? Why?
Do you use the word 'old' when referring to yourself or your friends?
If not, what descriptive label, if any, do you use?
Do you reveal your true age?
If so, what reaction do you expect, e.g. shock, disbelief, responses such as:
'no way can you be 58' or 'I thought you were 40'?
Do you fib about your age? If so, how many years do you shave off? Why?
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
BEFORE EMERGING AS A SWAMP GODDESS
Before emerging as Swamp Goddess, I comically referred to my budding menopausal/midlife self as.......
HELPFUL HINTS
Factors that influence the aging process will be addressed in future postings.
Midlife Memos is a weekly blog.
If you click 'followers' or subscribe' you will automatically receive
each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTES
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: www.drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
Thursday, March 4, 2010
HOW DID WE GET HERE?
WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG # 6 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
HOW DID WE GET HERE?
Those of us in the midst of aging angst are sometimes stunned, often bewildered and rarely amused by our predicament.
We question - how did we get here? Us? Our generation getting old - no way!
We are too cool to get old.
It's all about us:
With our persistent sense of self-importance, many in our generation still believe we are changing the world by redefining life's major developmental stages - currently it's midlife and menopause.
We will not quietly surrender as we enter, explore and live each new stage of life.
We want to learn about ourselves (our favorite topic of interest), especially information that will enable us to make wise choices and maintain some sense of control over what awaits us.
What we're doing:
Moreover, many of us are still working and putting off retirement.
Lots of us are physically active and fit, follow current health trends and take care of ourselves.
We love to travel and explore new destinations.
We even do our best to keep current by imploring our children and grandchildren to teach us the latest advances in technology.
And most of all,
We have an assumption that we are still relevant.
We are, you know! Are we?
UNHOMEWORK
Are you surprised at what your life is now?
Has your life's journey been what you expected? Yes/No? Explain.
Do you consider yourself 'relevant'? In what ways?
Describe how you fit, or don't fit, the above description of 'what we are doing'.
If you are limited by physical challenges, what are your coping strategies?
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Obviously, the description 'what we are doing' is a generalization.
Sadly, we are all keenly aware that some of us are not doing well.
Thus, despite generalizations, this blog is for all of us.
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
'OLD' THE FORBIDDEN WORD
Do these platitudes annoy you:
'60 is the new 40'
'age is just a number'
'you are only as old as you feel'
blah, blah, blah...
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is a weekly blog. If you click 'followers' or 'subscribe' you will
automatically receive each new one.
Or, just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTES
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG # 6 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
HOW DID WE GET HERE?
Those of us in the midst of aging angst are sometimes stunned, often bewildered and rarely amused by our predicament.
We question - how did we get here? Us? Our generation getting old - no way!
We are too cool to get old.
It's all about us:
With our persistent sense of self-importance, many in our generation still believe we are changing the world by redefining life's major developmental stages - currently it's midlife and menopause.
We will not quietly surrender as we enter, explore and live each new stage of life.
We want to learn about ourselves (our favorite topic of interest), especially information that will enable us to make wise choices and maintain some sense of control over what awaits us.
What we're doing:
Moreover, many of us are still working and putting off retirement.
Lots of us are physically active and fit, follow current health trends and take care of ourselves.
We love to travel and explore new destinations.
We even do our best to keep current by imploring our children and grandchildren to teach us the latest advances in technology.
And most of all,
We have an assumption that we are still relevant.
We are, you know! Are we?
UNHOMEWORK
Are you surprised at what your life is now?
Has your life's journey been what you expected? Yes/No? Explain.
Do you consider yourself 'relevant'? In what ways?
Describe how you fit, or don't fit, the above description of 'what we are doing'.
If you are limited by physical challenges, what are your coping strategies?
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Obviously, the description 'what we are doing' is a generalization.
Sadly, we are all keenly aware that some of us are not doing well.
Thus, despite generalizations, this blog is for all of us.
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
'OLD' THE FORBIDDEN WORD
Do these platitudes annoy you:
'60 is the new 40'
'age is just a number'
'you are only as old as you feel'
blah, blah, blah...
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is a weekly blog. If you click 'followers' or 'subscribe' you will
automatically receive each new one.
Or, just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTES
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
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