WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS®GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #9 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
BIRTH OF SWAMP GODDESS
One special sleepless night, about half past my double milestone® clock, I had a transcendent experience, or perhaps it was just another insomnia filled hallucination.
I awoke to my usual condition - my body and bedding were drenched in sweat (oops, I mean glowing with dewy moisture).
It seemed impossible that the blame for this nightly soaking was due to hot flashes and night sweats.
Somehow, it was easier to believe I was perpetually sopping wet because I had been magically transported to a swamp.
Surprisingly, the image of the swamp took hold. I embraced the notion of swamp living, but with an important stipulation.
If I am to be a swamp dweller (i.e. endure vicious hot flashes and all the other - umm - joys of menopause and midlife), then I declare myself goddess of my swamp (my life).
Thus, Swamp Goddess was born. Yippee!!!
My first decree as goddess: I must make changes to my life.
I TOOK VOWS:
1. To offset menopausal misery and aging angst, to the best of my ability and in the ways I can control, I will no longer allow any other misery or angst into my life. There is no room.
2. I will make a conscious effort to move towards making everything else in my life joyful and pleasurable.
3. I will adopt a 'no regrets' policy. (This was an afterthought but as I quickly realized, essential to the Swamp Goddess lifestyle.
Quite simply, by making the choice to become goddess of my swamp, I took ownership of my life.
Why didn't I think of this 50 years ago??? Imagine!
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
For those of you with no hot flashes and night sweats, consider yourself lucky to have landed on a dry patch of the swamp.
However, I am sure you have other signs of menopausal mayhem and aging angst.
And so, of course you are welcome to be a Swamp Goddess.
What misery and/or angst would you like to eliminate from your life?
Write a list of what brings you joy/pleasure.
Is any, or all, of your pleasure food related, e.g. chocolate (my true love)?
Other than food, is joy/pleasure a regular part of your life?
How often and in what ways?
We need to distinguish between joyful, healthy pleasure and sad, unhealthy indulgence.
Obviously, a detailed discussion is beyond the scope of this blog.
- Swamp Goddesses strive for healthy pleasure based in joy, wisdom and positive outcomes.
- Indulgence stems from a misguided attempt to fill an emotional void by spending money on luxuries we can't afford, eating excessively until we are sick, etc. etc etc.
- Engaging in excessive and extravagant behaviors without thinking through the consequences is not using Swamp Goddess wisdom.
- Getting help* from a well-qualified counselor to bring joyful, healthy pleasure into your life, as well as healing the 'emptiness', is a wonderful double milestone® gift to yourself.
Go for it!
- a magical cure that makes all our problems vanish
- an indication or admission we have serious mental health disorders
- an acknowledgement that, at certain times and for specific issues, an objective, trained professional can be a valuable, effective guide.
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
WHAT IS A SWAMP GODDESS?
The Swamp Goddess persona is a strategy designed to...
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