Wednesday, November 30, 2011

MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP EXPIRATION DATE

WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS®GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND
AGING ANGST
BLOG #25 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP EXPIRATION DATE

Make a list of your current friends.
If you met each one today:
*Would you choose her as a friend? Why?
*Would you not choose her as a friend? Why not?
Note your reaction to your responses.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Friends meet different needs at different times in our lives.
During the double milestone® we become aware that some have
reached their expiration date?

UNHOMEWORK
What are you going to do about your expired friendships?
Are there reasons you are reluctant to end these friendships?
I know many of us don't feel like dealing with this now.
When would be a better time?
Is there a better time?

NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
The Midlife Friendship Dump
...If you choose to end a friendship...

HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe' you will automatically receive each new one
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com.

NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:        www.drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook:  www.facebook.com/drwendykyman

TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVE - click '2010', '2011'.
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos,
especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess' tale.
I bet you will relate.










Wednesday, November 23, 2011

GRATITUDE AT MIDLIFE

WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS®GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM
AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #24 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
GRATITUDE AT MIDLIFE

Thanksgiving is an appropriate time to take a break from our friendship issues.
Instead, let's focus on the spirit of Thanksgiving - gratitude.

During the double milestone®, it is tempting to focus on our disappointments, longings and losses.
If you want to purge this negativity, practice gratitude. It works!
It transforms your life by changing your perspective - even during menopausal mayhem
and aging angst.

Gratitude is acknowledging and appreciating our abundance.
Incorporating gratitude into our daily thoughts and activities is amazingly powerful.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Interestingly, the things we take for granted are often our biggest blessings. 

UNHOMEWORK
Begin.
Write a gratitude list.
Read it each morning and night.
Who and what is on your list? Why?
Keep adding to your list.

NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Midlife Friendship Expiration Date
... have some of your friends passed their expiration date...?

HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click 'followers' or 'subscribe' you will automatically receive each new one
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com

NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
email        - drwendykyman@gmail.com
facebook  - www.facebook.com/drwendykyman

TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVE, click '2010', '2011'.
Keep scrolling to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially
'The Birth of Swamp Goddess'.
I bet you will relate.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

OLD FRIENDS

WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS®GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #23 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
OLD FRIENDS


As we journey through the double milestone® of menopausal mayhem and aging
angst, it is common to reflect on the past. Each reflection carries special memories,
some we cherish, some we'd like to forget.

We may fixate on past decisions, some good, some not; long ago events, some happy,
some sad; and old friends, some still in our lives, some long gone.

If we share memories with an old friend, we feel...???; we remember...???; we wish...???
If we share memories of an old friends, we feel...?; we remember...???; we wish...???

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Is it possible that a group, or even one friend, can stay with us throughout all
of life's seasons?

UNHOMEWORK
Do you have at least one long lasting friendship?
If no, do you wish for one?
If yes, how have you maintained the friendship?
Are you in touch with your childhood best friend? college roommate? or other old friends?


NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Gratitude At Midlife
... During the double milestone, it is tempting to...

HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click 'follower' or 'subscribe' you will automatically receive each new one
or
just come back to www.midlifememos.com

NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:         drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook:   www.facebook.com/drwendykyman

TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right- under BLOG ARCHIVE - click '2010' or '2011'.
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos,
especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess'. I bet you will relate.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT

WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #22 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.

THE MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT

Has your attitude toward your friends recently changed?
Duhhh! Absolutely it has.
Have you already dumped most, if not all, of them?
Or, have friends already dumped you? Hard to believe, but true!

Disruptions in our relationships occur with surprising, and somewhat
unexpected, frequency as we journey through the double milestone®.

So what's going on? 
Aging angst and menopausal mayhem are affecting all our relationships. 
That's what's going on.

Some of us try to pretend we are still able to tolerate what has become intolerable
and accept what has become unacceptable.
Externally we attempt to carry out the charade, but internally we are
busy collecting grievances, both small and large.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Is your grievance collection taking up so much space there is no room 
for anything else?

UNHOMEWORK
List your triggers.
Specify the actions and words that push your double milestone buttons. You 
know, the ones where your friend is getting on your last nerve and if she
keeps this up, you'll...

NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Old Friends
...Is it possible that a group, or even one friend, can stay with us throughout all 
of life's seasons...?

HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click 'followers' or 'subscribe' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com

NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
EMAIL:            drwendykyman@gmail.com
FACEBOOK:   www.facebook.com/drwendykyman


TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right - under BLOG ARCHIVE - click '2010' or '2011'.
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos,
especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess'. I bet you will relate.






Wednesday, November 2, 2011

MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP REALITY 101

WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS®GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
BLOG # 21

Have you drooled (not pretty, but known to happen) over media depictions
of friendships?
Have you seen or read the books, articles, movies and tv shows celebrating the
joys of friendships and extolling their crucial role in women's lives.

In these tales, women are present for each other, no matter what time of day
(or night), totally available, supportive, loving and giving.

This description of friendship reinforces what we have heard forever, such as:
* friendships are essential to women.
* we rely on our friends to share most, if not all, aspects of our lives.

Then we look at our own lives.
Uh-oh, something is missing.
We do not have these types of friendships.

In fact
*many of us are painfully aware that not all our friendships are joyous
or worthy of celebration.
In fact
*our friendships have conditions, rules, clear lines we can't cross, certain
times we can not rely on them, etc. etc. etc.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
What is going on?
The double milestone® of menopausal mayhem and aging angst is going on.

UNHOMEWORK
List the friends you can you can rely on unconditionally - no matter what.
List the friends who have restrictions on their availability.
Now look at yourself. Yikes!
Are you available for all of your friends, all of the time?
List those friends. Why these friends?
List the friends to whom you limit your availability.  Why?

NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT
...Has your attitude toward your friends changed during menopausal mayhem
and aging angst? Duhhh - absolutely!...

HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife memos is posted weekly.
If you click 'follower' or 'subscribe' you will
automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.Midlifememos.com

NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:       drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman

TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right - under BLOG ARCHIVE - click '2010' or '2011'.
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos,
especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess' tale.
I bet you will relate.