Wednesday, December 26, 2012

MIDLIFE HOLIDAYS

WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #79 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE HOLIDAYS

It's holiday season.
Are you celebrating?
As we journey through the double milestone of menopausal mayhem and aging angst, we may
notice another change - our attitudes concerning holidays are different.

Are you experiencing joy this holiday season because ... ?
Or
Are you filled with sad regrets because .... ?
Or
Are you indifferent to the whole holiday thing because ... ?

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Identifying double milestone's changing emotions is instructive.
Knowing if these new emotions are temporary or permanent is unknown.

UNHOMEWORK
Joy is your primary holiday emotion. Agree? Disagree?
If your primary emotion is not joy, what is it?
How have your holidays changed since the double milestone?
What changes do you want to make for future holidays?

NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
A new year of midlife magic ...

HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or subscribe,' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com

NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:           drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook:     www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
Twitter:         www.Twitter.com/@drwendykyman

TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' 2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially
'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.




Wednesday, December 19, 2012

ARE YOUR MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP EXPECTATIONS REALISTIC?

WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
Blog # 78 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D
ARE YOUR MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP EXPECTATIONS REALISTIC?

How do we know if what we expect from friends is 'realistic?'

First things first.
What are 'realistic' expectations?
Is there a universal definition for 'realistic?'
No, not exactly.
Essentially, 'realistic' is an individual perception.

Ok, but the question is still - how do we determine if our expectations are 'realistic?'
Simple. We discuss what we want and need with each one of our friends.
And - we listen (and hear) what our friends want and need from us.
In other words, what is 'realistic' is determined between your friends and you.

Now for the complicating factor - The Double Milestone.
As we journey through menopausal mayhem and aging angst, we change; our expectations change. Relationships are affected by these changes.
Therefore, we need to keep talking to our friends.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Communication is necessary during the double milestone.
Let your friends know how your expectations have changed.
And, of course, be prepared for their changed expectations

UNHOMEWORK
What do you currently expect from your friends?
Is there one must-have? Name it?
Are there more than one must-haves? List them.
EXTRA CREDIT
Prioritize your must-haves.

NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
The next step - midlife friendship requirements ...

HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com

NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:           drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook:     www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
Twitter:         www.twitter.com/@drwendykyman

TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially
'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.






.










r





Wednesday, December 12, 2012

ARE YOUR MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIPS STUCK?

WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #77 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D
ARE YOUR MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIPS STUCK?

Midlife friendships get sticky when we experience menopausal mayhem and aging angst.
Of course we know this. After all, we live it.
So, why do so many double milestone friendships get stuck?

Questions:
1. Stuck in what?
2. How do we get unstuck?

Ahhhh - if only the answers were easy.

It is natural for us to view friendship issues from our perspective.
If we want to get a friendship 'unstuck,' it is necessary to at least acknowledge our friends
have perspectives - and that they may be different from our own.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Duh! - we also know this. Really, we do. It's just that many of us forget as we navigate
menopausal mayhem and aging angst.
Moreover, we may be asked to move our positions in order to get friendships unstuck.
Add this to the list of things we forgot how to do.

UNHOMEWORK
Contemplate the concept of 'moving positions' to unstick a friendship.
What is your initial reaction?
Name the friends for whom you are willing to budge. How much?
Name the friends for whom you are unwilling to budge. Why not?

NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Are your midlife friendship expectations realistic?

HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com

NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:           drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook:     www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
Twitter:         www.twitter.com/@drwendykyman

TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos,
especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess. I bet you will relate.





Wednesday, December 5, 2012

MIDLIFE FRIENDS CHANGE THEIR EXPECTATIONS

WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
Blog #76 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE FRIENDS CHANGE THEIR EXPECTATIONS

We have looked inward and noted how the double milestone has changed our expectations.
It's time to peek outward and note what is going on with our friends?

Are your friends changing their expectations?
Do they want more or less from you; perhaps something entirely different?
What has been your response to friends' changed expectations?


Ideally, our friends' changed expectations focus on improving the friendships.
Terrific - it is what we also want. Right?
Until ... we have to agree on what constitutes 'improvements.'
And so, the friendship frenzy continues.
Or not.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Is it possible to have frenzy-free friendships?

UNHOMEWORK
Answer the following questions - generally and then specifically for each friend.
In what ways have your friends changed their expectations?
What has been your response to their changing expectations?
Whose changed expectations most often coincide with yours?
Whose changed expectations rarely (never) coincide with yours?

NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Are your friendships stuck in ...?

HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly. If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will
automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com

NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:           drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook:     www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
Twitter:         www.twitter.com/@drwendykyman

TO READ PREVIOUS BLOG POSTINGS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially 'The
Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.