Wednesday, December 28, 2011

MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION

WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM
AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #29 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION

By the double milestone®  point in our lives, we have been there, done that and said much.
How many New Year's resolutions have we made? Bazillions!
How many New Year's resolutions have we broken? Gazillions!
Who remembers?

Resolutions usually involve promising to do things we don't want to do
and give up things we want to do.
No thanks. We are so over all that.

This year, let's try a new approach.

Resolve to set a happy goal: By next New Year, you will have a least one quality friendship.
Hopefully, two or three.
Will we like this?  Of course.
Will it be good for us to have a quality friend?  Absolutely.
So ... it is possible to have something we like and that is also good for us. Hooray!

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
For those who make this resolution - terrific.
If you do not have to make this resolution because you already achieved this
goal - fabulous, but .... stay tuned for other goals to set.

UNHOMEWORK
Do you already have a description of quality friendships? (From last week's posting)
If not - describe your version of a quality friendship.
Once you have your description written down, prioritize:
*What traits are most important for your quality friend to have?
*What traits are least important for your quality friend to have?
*Are you open to compromise on any friendship traits?

NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Decluttering Midlife Friendships
... out with the old, in with the new ... Why should we?

HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe', you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com

NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:         drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook:   www.facebook.com/drwendykyman

TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011'.
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos,
especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.'
I bet you will relate.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP HOLIDAY GIFT

WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS®GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM
AND AGING ANGST
Blog #28 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP HOLIDAY GIFT


The holidays are here - lots of cheer and celebration ... ummm ... hopefully.
We gather together with family and friends .... well ... maybe.
Aside from family, are you sharing the holidays with at least one quality friend?

If you don't have any quality friends sharing the holidays with you - why not?
Is it something you want?
Having at least one quality friend is an excellent gift to put on your holiday wish list.
Begin by setting a goal:  By next year's holiday season, you will have quality friendships.
Consider this your gift - from you to you. Fantastic!

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
It is indeed a treasure to have at least one quality friendship.
If you have more than one - congratulations.

UNHOMEWORK
Describe your version of quality friendships.
If you have one (or more):
  ● Were your friendships always quality or did it require 'work' to get there?
  ● Who did the 'work' - you, your friends or both?
If you do not have any quality friendships:
 ● Do you know why not?
 ● Are you willing to 'work' for them?
If you don't know, stay tuned ... more to come.

NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Midlife Friendship New Year's Resolution
... how many New Year's resolutions have we broken ...

HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com

NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:           www.drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook:     www.facebook.com/drwendykyman

TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES - click '2010', '2011'.
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos,
especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess'.
I bet you will relate.



Wednesday, December 14, 2011

MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP DRAMA

WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM
AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #27 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP DRAMA


Who needs the drama?
As we journey through the double milestone® of menopausal mayhem
and aging angst, most of us are not in the mood for any dramatic encounters.

With this in mind, how do we end a friendship?
Can the unwanted drama be avoided? Unlikely!

Some of us do attempt to avoid it by choosing silence.
We let the friendship die from neglect.
We just happen to be unavailable to spend time together - Never!
Our phone conversations get interrupted - Always!
And, we seem to forget to call back - Uh huh!

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Do you believe your avoidance is working?
Do you care?
Your concern, or lack of it, clearly expresses your feelings.

UNHOMEWORK
How will your friend react when she gets your silent message? She will!
How will you respond? Will you?

NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Midlife Friendship Holiday Gift
... It is holiday time. Lots of ...

HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe', you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com

NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:         www.drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook:   www.facebook.com/drwendykyman

TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES - click '2010' '2011'.
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos,
especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess'.
I bet you will relate.






Wednesday, December 7, 2011

THE MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP DUMP

WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS®GUIDE TO  MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM
AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #26 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
THE MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP DUMP


Many double milestoners® are facing the reality of ending friendships.
Most of us let go of just one or two.
And then, there are those who make a clean sweep by dumping each and every friend. Wow!

Reasons for the endings vary from friend to friend.
For one, perhaps you have changed. She has not.
For another, both of you have changed - not in the same ways.
Or quite simply, your menopausal/aging stuff is conflicting with your friend's
menopausal/aging stuff. Sums it up quite nicely, don't you think?

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
You may not be able to pinpoint precise reasons for ending friendships.
For now, the double milestone may be your only motivation.
Eventually, you will gain clarity.  Ummm ... probably... depends on how this aging thing goes.

UNHOMEWORK
If you choose to end a friendship (or friendships), do you know why?
Is your decision spontaneous?
Or, have you spent lots of time thinking it over? What finally caused you to say 'NOW'?

NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Midlife Friendship Drama
...  we are not in the mood for The Big Drama breakup. Or are we ... ?

HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe', you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com

NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:             drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook:       www.facebook.com/drwendykyman

TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVE - click '2010', '2011'.
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos,
especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess'.
I bet you will relate.