Wednesday, November 28, 2012

MEETING MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP EXPECTATIONS

WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #75 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MEETING MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP EXPECTATIONS

Is it really surprising that our friendship expectations change during the double milestone?
No - because by now we recognize the signs of friendship frenzy.

Do you have difficulty specifying your changed expectations?
Are you clear on what you want and need from friends?
Perhaps, you just know what you do not want and do not need.
That's a good place to start.

Our changed expectations are most noticeable when we reflect back to pre-double milestone relationships.
A range of emotions may surface when recalling what we used to accept, but
are no longer willing to even tolerate.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
If you have raised your friendship expectations, yet remain realistic - congratulations on
a major accomplishment.  Hooray!
If you are still a work-in-progress (that's most of us) - keep going and stay positive.

UNHOMEWORK
Describe your friends' responses to your changed expectations.
Detail the status of friendships that resisted your changed expectations.
Have you kept your expectations realistic? How?

NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Midlife friends are also changing expectations ...

HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com

NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:                   drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook:             www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
Twitter:                 www.twitter.com/@drwendykyman

TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos,
especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.







Wednesday, November 21, 2012

MIDLIFE GRATITUDE AND THANKSGIVING

WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #74 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE GRATITUDE AND THANKSGIVING

Thanksgiving is a wonderful kick-off to the holiday season.
It gives us an opportunity - before the festivities begin - to set aside time for
expressing gratitude.

How do we express gratitude?
Is there a special way? a perfect way? No and no.
The strategy is to focus on positives.
If you think you have nothing to be grateful for, think again.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Practicing gratitude is powerful.
If you turn this into a daily practice, it is life-changing.

UNHOMEWORK
*Introductory gratitude practice
~ Get started now.
~ Choose  - either when first waking up or before falling asleep.
~ Begin with one: Select one aspect of your life - be specific - for which you feel grateful.
~ Simply state - "I am grateful for ...."
~ With time, add more items to your gratitude list.

*Advance your practice. Stay tuned for details ...

HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com

NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:          drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook:    www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
Twitter:        www.twitter.com/@drwendykyman

TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, the earlier Midlife Memos, especially
'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.






Wednesday, November 14, 2012

MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP EXPECTATIONS

WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #73 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP EXPECTATIONS

It is natural to have friendship expectations.
Some expectations are realistic; a few are not.
How do we distinguish between the two?

One simplistic method is to measure our friends' reactions.
If our expectations are - more or less - easily met, it is reasonable to
assume they are realistic.

By that same measure, if our expectations are not met, do we assume they
are unrealistic?
Maybe, maybe not

In fact, our expectations may be realistic, but we expect things from friends
who cannot, or will not, give us what we need and want.
In other words, our expectations are realistic, but we ask things from friends
who, for various reasons (excuses), place limits on their giving.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Double check your expectations.
Are they expectations most people would find acceptable?
Then, double check your friends.
Are the folks you choose as friends unable, or unwilling, to meet expectations
generally considered acceptable (by most people)?

UNHOMEWORK
What are your friendship expectations? Be specific.
Do you have different expectations for different friends? Why?
Play match. Make a list of 5 friends. Write your expectations for each.
Note similarities and differences.

NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Meeting friendship expectations is ...

HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com

NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email             www.drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook       www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
Twitter           www.twitter.com/@drwendykyman

TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos,
especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.







Wednesday, November 7, 2012

MIDLIFE FRIENDS TAKE A LOOK BACK

WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG # 72 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE FRIENDS TAKE A LOOK BACK

Most often, getting in touch with old friends is fun.
Then again,  it may be a powerful - and serious - learning experience.
When double milestoners take a look back at early relationships, we
glimpse into our past selves.

* What motivated our early friendship choices?
* What did we want from friends?
* What did we need from friends?
* What behaviors/traits were we willing to tolerate; not tolerate?

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Usually, friendship choices were uncomplicated.
Many relationships were based on proximity.
We were friends with our next-door neighbor, or the girl we sat beside in school.
Uncomplicated and easy.

UNHOMEWORK
Who were your two closest childhood friends?
Have these friendships continued? If not, why not?
It may prove interesting to reach out and get in touch with early friends?
Go for it.

NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Meeting midlife friendship expectations ...

HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com

NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:                 drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook:           www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
Twitter:               www.twitter.com/@drwendykyman

TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos,
especially, 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.







Saturday, November 3, 2012

MIDLIFE FRIENDS RIDE OUT THE STORM

WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #71 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE FRIENDS RIDE OUT THE STORM

For those on the east coast of U.S. - directly in the path of Hurricane
Sandy - hope you made it through safely.
My area still has no power, heat, hot water, phone or
internet service, but we are hanging tough.

Many double milestoners rely on friends during storms - both literal and figurative storms.
Ideally, we have at least one reliable friend to count on during times of trouble.
And, our friend is able to count on us.

The storm coincided with Halloween week.
Did you get tricks or treats from your friends?

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
We all need at least one person to 'count on.'

UNHOMEWORK
Complete the sentences:
1. My friends are tricky - they fool me into believing ...
2. My friends are a treat - they are a gift because ....
3. My friends are scary - I want to run away and hide when they ...
*Choose to answer each question in general for all your friends or for each individual friend.

NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
... midlife friends take a look back ...

HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com

NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:           drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook:     www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
Twitter:         www.twitter.com/@drwendykyman

TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos,
especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.