THE MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP AUDIT

WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #46 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
THE MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP AUDIT


Yay!
Taxes are done, so we turn our attention to a different
kind of audit: The Friendship audit - from your friends' points of view.

In other words, your friends get a turn to scrutinize you

Following up last week's Unhomework:
* Do you acknowledged your friends may have complaints about you?
* Are you able to identify the complaints?
* Can you accept these are reasonable complaints?

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
If you acknowledge your friends' complaints are valid, you have serious
thinking to do.

UNHOMEWORK
Are you willing to change your behavior to keep a friendship?
If yes,  be specific. What behavior would you change for which friend?
Would you rather change your friends than change a behavior?

NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
... To keep a friendship, I will ...

HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com

NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:          drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook:    www.facebook.com/drwendykyman

TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially
'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.

FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIPS

WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #45 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIPS


If we view our friendships from the other side - our friend's perspective - do we
have reason for concern?

Let's see:
1. Friendships are two-way streets - obviously!
2. Our friends are probably going through their own version of menopausal mayhem
and aging angst - uh - oh!

Conclusion:
Be prepared - for anything and everything.

For example:
The Friendship Break - how will you respond if a friend asks you for one?
The Big Talk - what will be your reaction if a friend initiates this?

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Quite a few menopausal/midlife friendships are shaky.
Expect the unexpected.

UNHOMEWORK
If friends express complaints concerning your role in the relationship:
- will all your friends have the same complaint/s? Details, please.
- will each friend have different complaints? List friend and her perceived complaint.

NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
... complain, complain, complain ...

HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com

NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:        drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook:  www.facebook.com/drwendykyman

TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' 2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos,
'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.
-

MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP SWITCH

WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG # 44 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP SWITCH


Thus far, the friendship discussion has be focused on your side
of the story.
You have been encouraged to assess your friendships.
Some of you have taken The Friendship Break.
Others have had The Big Talk.
More than a few have said goodbye to long time friends.

It is time to switch things around.
Take a look at your relationship from a friend's perspective.
Is it possible one of your friends is contemplating ending the friendship?

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Most of our friends are also experiencing menopausal mayhem
and aging angst.

UNHOMEWORK
Can you imagine any of your friends wanting to end the friendship? Who?
What complaints do you think your friends have about you?
Are their complaints valid?

NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
... how will you respond when ... ?

HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com.

NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email           www.drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook     www.facebook.com/drwendykyman

TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially
'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.

MY MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP IS OVER

WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #43 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MY MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP IS OVER


The decision has been made.
After trying your best, you are ending a friendship.

Various attempts to save it were unsuccessful.
You tried a 'cooling off' period - a friendship break.
Most of the problems were not resolved.
You had The Big Talk.
 It did not go well.

Keep in mind:
letting go of what we do not want - difficult friendships,
creates space for what we do want - quality friendships.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
If you decide to end a friendship, expect some surprises.
You may occasionally miss your former friend.
This is to be expected.
Usually, the feelings fade as you move forward and create quality friendships.

UNHOMEWORK
How do you anticipate feeling once the friendship is over?
Will you be sad, relieved, angry, exhilarated ...?

NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP IMPOSSIBILITY
... no she didn't ...

HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com

NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:        www.drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook:  www.facebook.com/drwendykyman

TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos,
especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.

AFTER THE MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP BIG TALK

WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #42 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
AFTER THE MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP BIG TALK


Have you followed through with your plans for The Big Talk? Why? Why not?
Did you tell your friend exactly how you feel? Everything?
What did you leave unsaid? Why?

How did your friend react?
What was your response to your friend's reaction?

Will you have The Big Talk with another friend? Why? Why not?
If yes, will you change any part of your plan?

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
The purpose of The Big Talk is to resolve friendship issues.
After all our discussions, you may choose not to go through with The Big Talk.
It is not always the best choice.

UNHOMEWORK
If you did follow through with The Talk:
- List the positives and negatives of your Talk.
- Indicate the parts of your plan that were successful and those that were not.
- Did anything unexpected occur?
If you did not have The Talk:
- Do you have a back-up plan? Describe.

NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
It's Over
... you did your best ... Really?

HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click 'followers' or 'subscribe' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com

NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:           drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook:     www.facebook.com/drwendykyman

TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially 'The
Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.

MIDLIFE SPRING BREAK

WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #41 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE SPRING BREAK


Let's take a break and embrace the wonders of the Spring.

It is the season of new beginnings.
Imagine ...
Plan ...
Do ...

Or
Just be ...

Most of all
ENJOY!!!

MIDLIFE FRIENDS TALK - REALITY CHECK PART 2

WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MISERY AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #40 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE FRIENDS TALK - REALITY CHECK PART 2


We are putting the finishing touches on our plan for The Big Talk.

Ideally
You begin to express your feelings.
Reality Check
*Your friend interrupts before you finish the first sentence.

Ideally
You ask to continue speaking without interruption.
Reality Check
Your friend:
 *refuses to stay and listen.
* sticks around to hear what you say. Then she walks out
* responds with strong words, shouts, tears and ...

Ideally
You thoroughly and flawlessly state what you want and need to make the friendship work.
Reality Check
*You have to listen (and hear) your friend state what she wants and needs to
make the friendship work.

UNHOMEWORK
Which one of the above reactions is your friend likely to bring to The Big Talk?
Can you predict what she wants and needs from the friendship?
Are you willing to hear what she says?
Are you willing to follow through?

NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
The Big Talk Aftermath
... we resolved ...

HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com

NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email:         drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook:   www.facebook.com/drwendykyman

TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos,
especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.'
I bet you will relate.



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