WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM
AND AGING ANGST
Blog # 36 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
LET'S HEAR FROM OUR MIDLIFE FRIENDS
After you finalize the decision to have The Big Talk, consider the following:
STEP 1
Choose one friend (maybe two) for The Big Talk.
STEP 2
Prepare your list of complaints.
Specify what you want and do not want in your friendship.
You will prepare something - Right?
During the double milestone, it is usually a good idea to spend time organizing our thoughts.
If you want to forgo preparation because you are able to spontaneously pull off a
successful Big Talk - I am impressed.
STEP 3
Prepare for your friend's reaction.
What will she say to you?
You don't think she will sit silently through your complaints - Do you?
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Are you ready to hear your friend's side of the story?
UNHOMEWORK
Imagine The Big Talk from your friend's perspective.
*How do you think she will react?
*What do you think she will say about you? about your friendship?
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Midlife Friends Keep Talking
... next we have to ...
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos,
especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.'
I bet you will relate.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
MIDLIFE FRIENDS TALK IT OUT
WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM
AND AGING ANGST
Blog #35 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE FRIENDS TALK IT OUT
Friends talk all the time.
We talk about major issues and endless minutia.
We talk about ourselves and other people.
The one thing we usually do not discuss - complaints we have with each other.
It is too risky.
Expressing our feelings is called The Big Talk and it is A Big Deal.
Specifically we state:
what we want and need from a friendship
and
what we are not getting
* Why do we have The Big Talk?...
- ideally it is an attempt to save a troubled friendship
* But ...
- there are no guarantees the desired outcome will be achieved
* Perhaps ...
- it may get messy and turn into The Big Drama
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Expressing what we want and need from friendships is common during
menopausal mayhem and aging angst.
The alternative is ending friendships - a choice many double milestoners are taking.
UNHOMEWORK
List the friends who are candidates for The Big Talk. Who? Why are you choosing them?
Start with one friend and see how that goes - Who? Why are you choosing her?
Before you have The Big Talk, take a deep breath and think, think, think.
Be prepared with a plan of what you want to say - Write it down.
CAUTION!
Limit The Big Talk to one or two friends.
Never have The Big Talk with more than one friend at a time.
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Let's Hear From Our Friends
... be prepared for ...
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drewendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.'
I bet you will relate.
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM
AND AGING ANGST
Blog #35 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE FRIENDS TALK IT OUT
Friends talk all the time.
We talk about major issues and endless minutia.
We talk about ourselves and other people.
The one thing we usually do not discuss - complaints we have with each other.
It is too risky.
Expressing our feelings is called The Big Talk and it is A Big Deal.
Specifically we state:
what we want and need from a friendship
and
what we are not getting
* Why do we have The Big Talk?...
- ideally it is an attempt to save a troubled friendship
* But ...
- there are no guarantees the desired outcome will be achieved
* Perhaps ...
- it may get messy and turn into The Big Drama
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Expressing what we want and need from friendships is common during
menopausal mayhem and aging angst.
The alternative is ending friendships - a choice many double milestoners are taking.
UNHOMEWORK
List the friends who are candidates for The Big Talk. Who? Why are you choosing them?
Start with one friend and see how that goes - Who? Why are you choosing her?
Before you have The Big Talk, take a deep breath and think, think, think.
Be prepared with a plan of what you want to say - Write it down.
CAUTION!
Limit The Big Talk to one or two friends.
Never have The Big Talk with more than one friend at a time.
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Let's Hear From Our Friends
... be prepared for ...
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drewendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.'
I bet you will relate.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
DO YOU NEED A MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP BREAK?
WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM
AND AGING ANGST
Blog #34 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
DO YOU NEED A MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP BREAK?
Ahhhh - sometimes it feels so good to get away.
We want a break from our rut ... ooops ... I mean our day-to-day lives.
We need a break from annoying folks ... ummm ... I mean friends.
Can we take a 'friendship break' if we cannot actually get away? - Yes
Will a 'friendship break' repair a crumbling relationship? - Maybe
Is there a possible downside to a 'friendship break?' - Of course
Before taking a 'break,' consider the following:
* the amount of time you need - one to three months is usual.
* the expected outcome - repair the friendship or ... ?
* your friend's reaction to the 'break' - the great unknown
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Before you take a 'friendship break,' think from your friend's perspective:
* She also needs a 'break' from you. Impossible!
Or
* She gets upset and angry.
* When 'the break' is over and you decide the friendship is worth salvaging, your friend is not
waiting. She has ended the relationship. How dare she!
UNHOMEWORK
Which of your friends is a candidate for a 'friendship break?'
Will she be waiting for you to decide the fate of your friendship?
Is her potential reaction a deciding factor in whether or not you take a 'break?'
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
MIDLIFE FRIENDS TALK IT OUT
... in an attempt to save an ailing friendship ...
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' 2011' '2012'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.'
I bet you will relate
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM
AND AGING ANGST
Blog #34 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
DO YOU NEED A MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP BREAK?
Ahhhh - sometimes it feels so good to get away.
We want a break from our rut ... ooops ... I mean our day-to-day lives.
We need a break from annoying folks ... ummm ... I mean friends.
Can we take a 'friendship break' if we cannot actually get away? - Yes
Will a 'friendship break' repair a crumbling relationship? - Maybe
Is there a possible downside to a 'friendship break?' - Of course
Before taking a 'break,' consider the following:
* the amount of time you need - one to three months is usual.
* the expected outcome - repair the friendship or ... ?
* your friend's reaction to the 'break' - the great unknown
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Before you take a 'friendship break,' think from your friend's perspective:
* She also needs a 'break' from you. Impossible!
Or
* She gets upset and angry.
* When 'the break' is over and you decide the friendship is worth salvaging, your friend is not
waiting. She has ended the relationship. How dare she!
UNHOMEWORK
Which of your friends is a candidate for a 'friendship break?'
Will she be waiting for you to decide the fate of your friendship?
Is her potential reaction a deciding factor in whether or not you take a 'break?'
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
MIDLIFE FRIENDS TALK IT OUT
... in an attempt to save an ailing friendship ...
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' 2011' '2012'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.'
I bet you will relate
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
CAN THIS MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP BE SAVED
WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM
AND AGING ANGST
Blog #33 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
CAN THIS MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP BE SAVED
Is the decision to end your friendship final?
Do you have 2nd thoughts?
Have you given 3rd chances?
Is there any way to save this friendship?
It takes time, effort and energy to save any troubled relationship.
Are you in the mood to do the work?
Are any almost ex-friendships worth saving?
If not, let go and move on.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Take all the time you need to ponder the decision to let go of a friendship.
Of course, your friend may be pondering her own decision.
Is it realistic to think she is sitting around waiting for you?
UNHOMEWORK
Name the friendship/s you think may be saved?
What work are you willing to do to save the friendship?
What are you not willing to do to save the friendship?
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Midlife Friendship Break
... we need to take a break from annoying folks ... ummm ... I mean friends ...
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' 2012.
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos,
especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.'
I bet you will relate.
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM
AND AGING ANGST
Blog #33 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
CAN THIS MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP BE SAVED
Is the decision to end your friendship final?
Do you have 2nd thoughts?
Have you given 3rd chances?
Is there any way to save this friendship?
It takes time, effort and energy to save any troubled relationship.
Are you in the mood to do the work?
Are any almost ex-friendships worth saving?
If not, let go and move on.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Take all the time you need to ponder the decision to let go of a friendship.
Of course, your friend may be pondering her own decision.
Is it realistic to think she is sitting around waiting for you?
UNHOMEWORK
Name the friendship/s you think may be saved?
What work are you willing to do to save the friendship?
What are you not willing to do to save the friendship?
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Midlife Friendship Break
... we need to take a break from annoying folks ... ummm ... I mean friends ...
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' 2012.
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos,
especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.'
I bet you will relate.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP STATUS REPORT
WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM
AND AGING ANSGT
BLOG #32 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D
MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP STATUS REPORT
We are in the process of letting go of those who clutter our lives - right?
(see post New Year's Resolution 1/4/12)
How is it going?
Have you said 'good bye' to anyone yet?
Who did you let go?
Why did you choose her?
How did you say 'goodbye'?
Now what?
The next step is to be aware of lingering feelings.
Are you relieved? happy? conflicted? sad? all of these mixed together?
Usually these feelings are temporary and will pass.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Reminder: You are letting go and making room to invite new, quality friends
into your life.
UNHOMEWORK
List the friends you have let go.
Did you say 'goodbye' in the same way to each of them?
Or
Did you use a different process for each?
Evaluate:
- what was the best way of saying 'goodbye'? What made it work?
- what was the worst way of saying 'goodbye'? What went wrong?
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Can This Midlife Friendship Be Saved?
... are you in the mood to save a troubled friendship?
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos,
especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.'
I bet you will relate.
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM
AND AGING ANSGT
BLOG #32 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D
MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP STATUS REPORT
We are in the process of letting go of those who clutter our lives - right?
(see post New Year's Resolution 1/4/12)
How is it going?
Have you said 'good bye' to anyone yet?
Who did you let go?
Why did you choose her?
How did you say 'goodbye'?
Now what?
The next step is to be aware of lingering feelings.
Are you relieved? happy? conflicted? sad? all of these mixed together?
Usually these feelings are temporary and will pass.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Reminder: You are letting go and making room to invite new, quality friends
into your life.
UNHOMEWORK
List the friends you have let go.
Did you say 'goodbye' in the same way to each of them?
Or
Did you use a different process for each?
Evaluate:
- what was the best way of saying 'goodbye'? What made it work?
- what was the worst way of saying 'goodbye'? What went wrong?
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Can This Midlife Friendship Be Saved?
... are you in the mood to save a troubled friendship?
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos,
especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.'
I bet you will relate.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
POST-HOLIDAY MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP STATUS
WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO FRIENDSHIP FRENZY AMID MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM
AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #31 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D
POST-HOLIDAY MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP STATUS
Are you still singing, chanting, humming and whistling 'out with the old ... in with the new?'
Or
Has it become a soft whisper?
Or
Has it gone completely silent and is it already forgotten?
Do you really want to forget to declutter? No!
Will there ever be a good time to make room for what you want? Yes - Now!
For those who are following through with the decluttering process - Good move!
You are on the right track. Keep going.
For those who have not gotten started yet - C'mon - give it a try!
You just need a bit more motivation and a change in perspective.
Experiment - begin with the idea of making a commitment to yourself.
During menopausal mayhem and aging angst, isn't it about time the commitment
is a version of: to do what is BEST for me?
Compose your commitment statement using whatever words are most meaningful for you.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
As we revert back to the hustle and bustle of our post-holiday busy lives, it is
UNHOMEWORK
* Make a commitment to yourself.
* For those of you who have completed a 'decluttering' list, and answered the
follow-up questions, take a break and prepare for more to come.
*For those who did not, but want to get back on track - Great idea!
Begin by writing a list of friends who 'clutter' your life. More details
in 'New Year's Resolution' post (1/4/12).
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Midlife Friendship Status
' ... have you said goodbye to anyone yet ... ?
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe', you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: www.drwendykyman.com
Facebook: www.facebook/drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010', '2011', '2012'.
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos,
especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.'
I bet you will relate.
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO FRIENDSHIP FRENZY AMID MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM
AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #31 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D
POST-HOLIDAY MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP STATUS
Are you still singing, chanting, humming and whistling 'out with the old ... in with the new?'
Or
Has it become a soft whisper?
Or
Has it gone completely silent and is it already forgotten?
Do you really want to forget to declutter? No!
Will there ever be a good time to make room for what you want? Yes - Now!
For those who are following through with the decluttering process - Good move!
You are on the right track. Keep going.
For those who have not gotten started yet - C'mon - give it a try!
You just need a bit more motivation and a change in perspective.
Experiment - begin with the idea of making a commitment to yourself.
During menopausal mayhem and aging angst, isn't it about time the commitment
is a version of: to do what is BEST for me?
Compose your commitment statement using whatever words are most meaningful for you.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
As we revert back to the hustle and bustle of our post-holiday busy lives, it is
quite common to forget our New Year's resolutions. It takes a renewed effort.
Making a commitment is a good way to re-energize.
Making a commitment is a good way to re-energize.
UNHOMEWORK
* Make a commitment to yourself.
* For those of you who have completed a 'decluttering' list, and answered the
follow-up questions, take a break and prepare for more to come.
*For those who did not, but want to get back on track - Great idea!
Begin by writing a list of friends who 'clutter' your life. More details
in 'New Year's Resolution' post (1/4/12).
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Midlife Friendship Status
' ... have you said goodbye to anyone yet ... ?
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe', you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: www.drwendykyman.com
Facebook: www.facebook/drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010', '2011', '2012'.
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos,
especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.'
I bet you will relate.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
DECLUTTERING OUR MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP COLLECTION
WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM
AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #30 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D
DECLUTTERING OUR MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP COLLECTION
This New Year is the perfect time to get a fresh start.
It is also a perfect time to sing, chant, hum or whistle the familiar
phrase 'out with the old ... in with the new.'
Getting rid of clutter is a noble ambition.
So let's begin:
Is someone or something cluttering up your life?
Who? What? How?
Are you ready to let go, i.e. toss that someone or something 'out'?
When? Why? Why not?
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
What? Who? Why? How? When? - wait a minute. Aren't these questions journalists are
supposed to ask? Yes, and they work quite effectively for our purposes as well.
UNHOMEWORK
Make a list of those who 'clutter up' your life.
Do you want to let go?
Are you ready to let go?
How will you let go?
When will you let go?
So many questions ... If you do not yet know the answers ... stay tuned. More to come.
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Post-Holiday Midlife Friendship Status
... as we revert back to the hustle and bustle of our post-holiday busy lives ...
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: www.drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010', '2011'.
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially The Birth of Swamp Goddess. I bet you will relate.
THE SWAMP GODDESS GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM
AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #30 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D
DECLUTTERING OUR MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP COLLECTION
This New Year is the perfect time to get a fresh start.
It is also a perfect time to sing, chant, hum or whistle the familiar
phrase 'out with the old ... in with the new.'
Getting rid of clutter is a noble ambition.
So let's begin:
Is someone or something cluttering up your life?
Who? What? How?
Are you ready to let go, i.e. toss that someone or something 'out'?
When? Why? Why not?
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
What? Who? Why? How? When? - wait a minute. Aren't these questions journalists are
supposed to ask? Yes, and they work quite effectively for our purposes as well.
UNHOMEWORK
Make a list of those who 'clutter up' your life.
Do you want to let go?
Are you ready to let go?
How will you let go?
When will you let go?
So many questions ... If you do not yet know the answers ... stay tuned. More to come.
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Post-Holiday Midlife Friendship Status
... as we revert back to the hustle and bustle of our post-holiday busy lives ...
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: www.drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010', '2011'.
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially The Birth of Swamp Goddess. I bet you will relate.
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