WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #88 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP WAITING
Has this happened to you?
You have given generously to a friend during her bad/low/down times.
Then, something goes wrong in your life. You turn to your friend, but ...
all she offers are excuses, excuses, and - what a surprise - more excuses for
her inability to be there for you.
At this point in life, we understand that true reciprocity occurs over the
life of a relationship.
Every one of us has good/ bad times, highs/ lows, ups/ downs.
~ Be grateful if you have more joy than despair.
~ Appreciate if you share it all with quality friends.
~ Acknowledge some friends rather take than give.
~ Are you ready to stop waiting for the takers to become givers?
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Double milestone friendship frenzy heats up when we realize one (or more)
of our relationships has not been, nor will never be, reciprocal.
UNHOMEWORK
List the friends you can count on to reciprocate your generosity.
List the friends who are full of excuses explaining why you cannot count on them.
List the excuses you believe; accept. Why?
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
You know when it's reciprocal ... ?
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
Twitter: www.twitter.com/@drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially
'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP MATH
WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #87 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP MATH
MYTH or REALITY
Equality exists in friendships.
Giving=Taking
Measuring friendship equality seems clinical, distasteful, and
just plain silly.
Perhaps, but ... lack of reciprocity is a major friendship
complaint - particularly during menopausal mayhem and aging angst.
Why are we now noticing friendship equality and complaining about inequality?
The double milestone triggers heightened sensitivities.
We tend to notice things that were previously overlooked or ignored.
For some of us, we take note, complain a bit, and move on.
For others, we take note, complain a lot, and cannot move on.
Instead, we enter friendship frenzy.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Here is a sign.
~ If you begin doing math, it is a clue that the frenzy is getting pumped up.
Double milestone math includes counting up the amount of times we
give and our friends take.
UNHOMEWORK
Are your relationships equal or unequal?
How do you know?
Do you want to change the equation?
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Are you still waiting for your midlife friends to ...?
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
Twitter: www.twitter.com/@drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos,
especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #87 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIP MATH
MYTH or REALITY
Equality exists in friendships.
Giving=Taking
Measuring friendship equality seems clinical, distasteful, and
just plain silly.
Perhaps, but ... lack of reciprocity is a major friendship
complaint - particularly during menopausal mayhem and aging angst.
Why are we now noticing friendship equality and complaining about inequality?
The double milestone triggers heightened sensitivities.
We tend to notice things that were previously overlooked or ignored.
For some of us, we take note, complain a bit, and move on.
For others, we take note, complain a lot, and cannot move on.
Instead, we enter friendship frenzy.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Here is a sign.
~ If you begin doing math, it is a clue that the frenzy is getting pumped up.
Double milestone math includes counting up the amount of times we
give and our friends take.
UNHOMEWORK
Are your relationships equal or unequal?
How do you know?
Do you want to change the equation?
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Are you still waiting for your midlife friends to ...?
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
Twitter: www.twitter.com/@drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos,
especially 'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
DO YOUR MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIPS BALANCE OUT?
WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS ® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #86 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
DO YOUR MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIPS BALANCE OUT?
Do you have balance in your midlife friendships?
This is another way of asking if your friendships are reciprocal.
Measuring friendship 'give and take' seems ... er ... well ... unfriendly.
Aren't we supposed to be generous with our friends?
Yes, of course.
But then ask yourself, why is it that our unbalanced relationships are
usually the first to fall apart during menopausal
mayhem and aging angst.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
With quality friendships, the giving and taking balance out - over time.
How much time? Ahhhh - double milestoners know this answer.
UNHOMEWORK
Take measure of your friendships.
Is there reciprocity?
Do you give more or take more?
Specify.
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Equality in midlife friendships is ...
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
Twitter: www.twitter.com/@drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially
'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.
THE SWAMP GODDESS ® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #86 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
DO YOUR MIDLIFE FRIENDSHIPS BALANCE OUT?
Do you have balance in your midlife friendships?
This is another way of asking if your friendships are reciprocal.
Measuring friendship 'give and take' seems ... er ... well ... unfriendly.
Aren't we supposed to be generous with our friends?
Yes, of course.
But then ask yourself, why is it that our unbalanced relationships are
usually the first to fall apart during menopausal
mayhem and aging angst.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
With quality friendships, the giving and taking balance out - over time.
How much time? Ahhhh - double milestoners know this answer.
UNHOMEWORK
Take measure of your friendships.
Is there reciprocity?
Do you give more or take more?
Specify.
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Equality in midlife friendships is ...
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
Twitter: www.twitter.com/@drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.'
Keep scrolling all the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially
'The Birth of Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
ARE YOU ASKING TOO MUCH FROM MIDLIFE FRIENDS?
WELCOME TO MIDLIFE MEMOS
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #85 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
ARE YOU ASKING TOO MUCH FROM MIDLIFE FRIENDS?
Previously, we questioned when to say enough is enough to a friend when she asks
too much from us.
Let's flip the questions and explore our friends' perspectives.
Have any friends ever told you enough is enough?
Have any friends ever said you're asking for too much?
Was it one friend who told you enough is enough because you are asking too much?
Was it several or ... most (OUCH!)... friends who told you this?
What are you asking for that elicits your friends' responses?
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Exploring our friends' perspectives is a necessary component in building quality
relationships.
UNHOMEWORK
How do you react when friends say enough or too much?
Are you actually asking too much from friends, or are they unwilling, perhaps, unable
to respond in the ways you want and need?
How many times do you ask friends for something before you accept they are unwilling
or unable to respond in the ways you want and need?
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Do you have reciprocal midlife friendships ... ?
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
Twitter: www.twitter.com.@drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.' Keep scrolling all
the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially 'The Birth of
Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.
.
THE SWAMP GODDESS® GUIDE TO MENOPAUSAL MAYHEM AND AGING ANGST
BLOG #85 by Wendy Kyman, Ph.D.
ARE YOU ASKING TOO MUCH FROM MIDLIFE FRIENDS?
Previously, we questioned when to say enough is enough to a friend when she asks
too much from us.
Let's flip the questions and explore our friends' perspectives.
Have any friends ever told you enough is enough?
Have any friends ever said you're asking for too much?
Was it one friend who told you enough is enough because you are asking too much?
Was it several or ... most (OUCH!)... friends who told you this?
What are you asking for that elicits your friends' responses?
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Exploring our friends' perspectives is a necessary component in building quality
relationships.
UNHOMEWORK
How do you react when friends say enough or too much?
Are you actually asking too much from friends, or are they unwilling, perhaps, unable
to respond in the ways you want and need?
How many times do you ask friends for something before you accept they are unwilling
or unable to respond in the ways you want and need?
NEXT WEEK'S TOPIC
Do you have reciprocal midlife friendships ... ?
HELPFUL HINTS
Midlife Memos is posted weekly.
If you click on 'followers' or 'subscribe,' you will automatically receive each new one.
Or
Just come back to www.midlifememos.com
NOTE
CONTACT INFORMATION
Email: drwendykyman@gmail.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drwendykyman
Twitter: www.twitter.com.@drwendykyman
TO READ PREVIOUS POSTS
To the right, under BLOG ARCHIVES, click '2010' '2011' '2012.' Keep scrolling all
the way to read any, or all, of the earlier Midlife Memos, especially 'The Birth of
Swamp Goddess.' I bet you will relate.
.
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